For parents and caregivers, few things are more challenging than navigating a child’s tantrum or moments of dysregulation. At Little Otter, we recognize that tantrums can be more than just behavior issues—they are windows into a child’s emotional world and a chance for caregivers to provide support. During our recent Little Otter Live conversation, experts discussed the importance of seeing tantrums as a sign of “mental health fever,” a term we use to describe behaviors that signal underlying stress. Here’s how to understand tantrums from a mental health perspective and create a supportive environment to help children learn emotional regulation.
Understanding the “Mental Health Fever”
When a child has a tantrum, they are often overwhelmed by emotions they cannot fully express. While many assume tantrums are “bad behavior,” experts suggest seeing them as an emotional fever—an indicator that a child’s emotional environment or support system needs some adjustments. The team at Little Otter advocates for a family approach, encouraging parents to look at both their child’s behavior and the broader family dynamics. For example, has there been a recent change in routine? Is the parent experiencing more stress than usual? These factors can influence a child’s emotional state, and addressing them holistically often leads to better outcomes.
Practical Tools for Supporting Emotional Regulation
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Create a Calm-Down Corner: Set up a cozy nook in your home as a “calm-down corner” with soothing items like books, plush toys, or sensory objects. Encourage your children to spend a few minutes there when they feel overwhelmed. Include an emotions poster to help them identify and express their feelings. Our Little Otter Emotions Poster, available here, makes a perfect addition to any calm-down corner.
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Practice Consistency with Routines: Tantrums often escalate when a child feels a lack of control. Try to establish predictable routines for daily activities, which can provide a sense of security and stability.
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Model Emotional Regulation: Children learn by watching. When a parent experiences frustration, it’s an opportunity to model healthy responses. Show them what it looks like to take a deep breath or use calming language, reinforcing that everyone gets frustrated and everyone can handle it.
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Special One-on-One Time: Many experts at Little Otter recommend dedicating a few minutes each day to one-on-one time with each child. During this time, children feel valued and understood, reducing the need for acting out to gain attention.
Remember, tantrums are natural and expected, especially for young children. What matters is how we respond. By creating a supportive environment and focusing on emotional regulation as a family, we can guide our children toward healthier emotional responses. For more information regarding tantrums, take a look at our Complete Guide to Temper Tantrums.