September is Suicide Prevention Month. While it can be difficult to acknowledge that children and teens could actually attempt and die by suicide, the heartbreaking reality is that it can and does happen.
In fact, suicide is the second leading cause of death for kids 10-14, and teens 14-19.
This blog post will share suicide prevention tips, warning signs of suicide risk, and where to get help.
In 2020, suicide was the twelfth leading cause of death overall in the United States, claiming the lives of over 45,900 people. It’s also important to recognize that suicide risk is elevated among Black and LGBTQ+ young people.
If a child, regardless of age, is expressing suicidal ideation, it’s important for family and friends to take them seriously and seek immediate professional help.
14 Tips for Preventing Suicide
Accessing mental health care is a critical part of suicide prevention.
The best way to prevent suicide is to get connected with professional mental health support if and when you’re worried about or become aware of suicidal ideation, in yourself or your loved ones.
Though it may not feel like it, there is help. Evidence-based assessments and interventions exist that specifically target suicidal thoughts and behaviors.
Depression is one of the most common psychiatric disorders associated with suicide.
The key symptoms of depression are feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and despair; these can be so painful that a person might wish to die or die by suicide to make the pain stop. That said, there’s no single cause for suicide. Suicide occurs usually when stressors overwhelm a person who feels pain, hopelessness, and despair.
In addition to getting mental health care, here are a few actions that can help prevent suicide:
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Have open and honest conversations with your children and loved ones. Research shows that asking someone if they have thoughts or a plan to die by suicide doesn’t increase their risk or “put an idea in their head.” It’s actually the opposite; it connects you with your loved one and can open the door to supporting them in getting the help they need. If you are having thoughts of suicide, don’t be afraid to reach out to someone you care about. You’ll learn tips for how to talk to your child about suicide later in this post.
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Feelings of connectedness can reduce the risk for suicide. The family can play an important role in prevention, by supporting their loved one in getting mental health support.
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Proactively limit access to lethal weapons, like firearms. Family members and friends can be proactive in helping maintain a safe environment. If you are experiencing suicidality, reduce your access and exposure to weapons, certain medications, and dangerous objects.
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Learn the warning signs of suicide risk. Learn to spot your warning signs early, so you can put your plan into action. We’ve included details about warning signs in the next section, and more information about the safety plan next…
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Create a written plan of action or a “safety plan.” Work with your mental health provider to create a written safety plan you can refer to in times of crisis or considering suicide. Your plan is a checklist of activities and actions you promise to do, so you can stay safe when you have thoughts of suicide.
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Pay attention to environmental and social stressors. Bullying, harassment, unemployment and financial stress, divorce, and death are real environmental stressors that can increase suicide risk. We know that the Black and LGBTQ+ children are at significantly increased risk for suicidal thoughts and attempts and death by suicide. Loved ones can help prevent suicide by being alert to these factors. (Learn more about understanding suicide risk in Black children here.)
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Take what they say seriously. If your loved one talks about death, not wanting to live, or suicide, pay attention. These are immediate warning signs of suicide risk, and it’s important to seek help. This is true if it is an adult or a child. Don’t assume that children don’t understand the importance or meaning of their words.
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Commit to care. If you or a loved one are in treatment, commit to the care. Engage in therapy and take your medications, if applicable (or support them in doing so).
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Create a list of contacts and resources for when you (or your loved one) feel(s) suicidal. Keep a list of contact names and numbers with people or resources that can help you when you feel suicidal. Include the contact information for your doctors, therapists, and crisis centers or crisis help resources. Include names of family members and friends who have agreed to be part of your safety planning.
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Join support groups. This can help build connection and make sure that neither you nor your loved ones feel alone.
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Engage in or encourage physical activity. Moving your body and exercising may reduce depression symptoms, so physical activities like walking, jogging, swimming, or gardening, may help to reduce depressive symptoms, including suicide.
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Try to do positive things, even if you don’t feel like it. This could be reaching out to a friend, taking a walk, getting out of bed and showering. These simple actions can help you or your loved one reconnect and re-engage.
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Avoid drug and alcohol use, or support others in doing so. Alcohol and drugs can increase suicidal thoughts, impair thinking and judgement, and increase impulsivity and one’s likelihood to hurt themselves.
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Create a list of the reasons to live. This list doesn’t need to be perfect, or comprehensive. And it can include “being alive.” It doesn’t matter what the list includes, but finding a sense of purpose in life can make a difference.
Next, learn a few warning signs of suicide risk to pay attention to.
Warning Signs of Suicide Risk
Most children and adolescents who take their life exhibit warning signs. Knowing what to look for can save a life.
Warning Signs Indicating Immediate Risk of Suicide
If you notice any of the following, it’s important to take immediate action:
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Talking about wanting to die or kill oneself
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Looking for a way to kill or hurt oneself
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Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live.
Call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, go to the emergency room, or reach out to one of the national resources listed above (Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741; Trevor Project: Text START to 678-678).
Warning Signs Indicating Serious Risk of Suicide
If you notice any of the following, it’s important to take pay attention and speak to a mental health professional:
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Aggression
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Changes in irritability and impulsivity
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Displaying extreme mood swings
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Feelings of sadness or loss of interest
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Sleeping too little or too much
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Withdrawing from activities
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Talking of being a burden
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Isolating from friends and family.
These behaviors may indicate a serious risk of suicide, especially if the behavior is new or seems related to a painful event, loss, or change.
How to Talk to Your Child about Suicide Risk
Parents and caregivers are often afraid to ask children if they’re thinking about or planning to die by suicide. The worry is often that having this conversation and directly asking about suicide can increase the risk of suicide. In fact, the opposite is true.
Directly asking a child or teen if they’re thinking about ending their life won’t “put the idea in their head.”
The truth is, asking this tough but important question shows love, care, and empathy. It connects you with your loved one, and can open the door to supporting them in getting the help they need.
Here are three sample phrases you can use to start the conversation, and modify based on your situation:
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“I’ve noticed some differences in you lately, and I’m wondering how you’re doing. I’m always here to talk to, and I want to know if you’re having any thoughts of self-harm or suicide.”
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“Given all that you’re dealing with right now, and what is happening at school, have you had any thoughts about hurting yourself or thoughts of killing yourself?”
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“I’ve noticed that you haven’t been seeing your friends as much lately, and you’re talking about ‘life not being worth it.’ Have you noticed? I know it’s hard to be a teenager. Has suicide ever crossed your mind?”
If you’re worried about a young person in your life, trust your instinct and reach out. One conversation can make a huge difference.
If you’re not in a crisis situation, you can help your loved ones deal with suicidality by reminding them of the following:
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Recognize that depression and hopelessness often “lie” to you and interfere with your thinking and ability to make good decisions.
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“Boss back” the thoughts and feelings that are saying there is no hope, that you are not loved, or that the world would be better without you in it.
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Remind yourself that suicidal feelings are the result of treatable problems. There is help!
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Recognize that these feelings are temporary and that with appropriate treatment you can learn how to help yourself feel better about life again. Asking others for support can help you see that you have other options, and give you hope about the future.
Take Action
Here are some tangible steps you can take when you or someone you care about needs more immediate support:
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If you have a mental health provider, reach out. If you don’t, it will be important to try to get mental health care.
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Call a suicide hotline number.
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In the U.S., call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Or use the Lifeline Chat. Services are free and confidential.
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U.S. veterans or service members who are in crisis can call 988 and then press “1” for the Veterans Crisis Line. Or text 838255. Or chat online.
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The Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the U.S. has a Spanish language phone line at 1-888-628-9454 (toll-free).
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Call 911 or your local emergency number.
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Seek help from your doctor or other health care provider.
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Reach out to a close friend or loved one.
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Contact a minister, spiritual leader or someone else in your faith community.
At Little Otter, we screen all children 8 and older and those under 8 with known factors for suicide risk using evidence-based screening tools and interventions.
If we identify increased suicide risk, we schedule a comprehensive initial assessment with a licensed mental health provider as soon as possible with the child and parents. During that appointment, we conduct a thorough risk assessment and develop a safety plan with the child and family, if indicated. We strive to be proactive and alert, so that we don’t miss these signs of suicide risk.